Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. 30 The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, 31 and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.” 32 In spite of this, you did not trust in the Lord your God, 33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go. Deuteronomy 1:29-33
As I read the words Moses spoke to the Israelites in Deuteronomy, I was reminded that despite all the amazing miracles of protection and provision they had personally witnessed and received they still grumbled and doubted. I’m so quick to think, “Surely I wouldn’t have turned from the Lord or grumbled at all if I had witnessed all of that personally and not just read about it in the Bible.”
Then, I’m reminded or convicted even more quickly of that fact that I’m no different from the Israelites. It seems as though the manna that fell, the sea that parted and the cloud by day and fire by night that guided them is so much greater and bolder than what God has done for me, but it isn’t!
When I think about the answered prayers for friends, family and healing that have occurred it blows my mind. What about the time our income and savings were almost out and God provided everything exactly when we needed it. Honestly, for us, that was as miraculous as seeing the sea split in two. I’ve seen relationships restored that I thought never had a chance of reconciliation, addicts become whole and sacrifices made out of love for strangers.
All of those things and more are just as amazing as what the Israelites witnessed . . . and after all that . . . there are still days that my heart groans about something that doesn’t turn out the way I desired or expected. There are still days I doubt my abilities, talents and example I set. WHY????
I’ve come to a simple, but honest explanation. We are human! Created in God’s image, but only human. . . not God. That’s why Jesus’s sacrifice means more and more to me as I study His word. Without His grace, His love, His forgiveness and His steadfastness we can’t stay the course because the guilt will sink in to deep and pull us down.
I pray that when the doubts, fears and grumblings begin in our hearts, our minds quickly turn to all the amazing moments and miracles God has shared and allowed us to witness.