Even Then


Not long ago, I awoke to two sweet and very excited children. “Mommy, please get up early and follow our signs”, they pleaded. Each heart shape post-it note led me to the next on a short scavenger hunt through our home. It ended in my son’s closet. When I opened the door I saw the pink blanket laid out with our Easter tree, a potted flower and handwritten “I love you, even when I am mad, I love you” note from my son. While I was taking it all in, a song started playing. They had recorded my son singing an “I love you” song and my  daughter hid in the back of the closet to press play when I opened the door. I was astounded. It was certainly worth getting up early for!

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance. 2 Thessalonians 3:5

I saw Jesus in their actions. For years, I slept through God’s pleading and desire to get my attention. To draw me closer to Him. I ignored the signs that said “follow me”. I didn’t think I needed direction. I had it all under control. I had a plan. I would make things happen. I could get through life without having to follow His signs and relinquish control. I saw it as a weakness to trust in God fully. I didn’t want to turn it all over because it over gave me a sense (a false sense) of control over life. I – I – I . . . you see the pattern here.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-5

Praise God He never gave up on me. He never stopped whispering “I love you. Even when you are mad, even when you try to hide from me. I love you.” in my ear. As I drew closer to Him through studying the Bible, He changed my heart and opened my eyes. I began to see how much freedom comes in turning it over to my creator who can handle it ALL! Trusting Him to lead me where I am to go. Learning that if God doesn’t want me there – I don’t want to go because it will only lead to destruction. Finding that peace comes from Him and only Him – no amount of long-range planning or worry will bring it. Praising Him for His mercy and forgiveness that never run out. Knowing I will always find Him when I am seeking Him. Understanding that the pruning and trials I endure in this life are only to draw me closer to Him because He adores me.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8

You see, a few days prior to this scavenger hunt I had disciplined my son for being disobedient and he responded by writing me three notes that all stated, “I do not love you, mom!” on them. I read them and recycled them promptly knowing he would come around and love me greater for it. Just as our Father in Heaven disciplines us because He loves us and just as He always takes us back when we return to the foot of the cross after going astray. He adores YOU! Seek Him, trust Him and follow Him. He will not leave you or forsake you.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7


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